I didn’t get dealt the luckiest hand in life. Growing up was different, if I have to put it one way. My childhood differed immensely than that of my friends and colleagues. It wasn’t easy, no -quite the opposite. Growing up was a challenge, and I have learned many things in life at the tender age of 7. Children my age worried about colouring outside of the lines in colouring books, or not being chosen as the line leader. I on the other hand worried about things far more complex and terrifying. I’ve seen things I shouldn’t have seen, heard things I shouldn’t have heard, and felt things I shouldn’t have felt.
My life wasn’t normal like the other kids, no it was not. It was the furthest thing from normal; It still haunts me to this day.
I felt like being alive was more of a chore than it was a blessing. I wasn’t living -I was getting by. I was relentlessly managing and putting up with the life I was living in whatever ways I could, whether that be tuning out the world, or seeking pleasure in bad habits. I was surviving because I had too for the sake of a few people and reasons, but not because I wanted to.